theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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