He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
