mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
