tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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