i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
