Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize