If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize