Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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