his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
