Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize