There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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