If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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