you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
