I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
