My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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