she was so not down for the gang bang
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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