nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
