I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
