just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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