Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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