well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons