eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize