I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
