I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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