i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
