dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
