I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
