hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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