Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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