Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
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we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
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I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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