Need sex. Gaining weight.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Someone came in the potted fern
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize