the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I am one with the molecules
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
