i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize