Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
