white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize