I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
