I cockslap morals
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
