I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
