Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize