I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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