...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
