true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
