i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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