He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
This can only be settled by a dance off.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
