I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
