you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Randomize
