i jhust puked up my retainher.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize