i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
