I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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