I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
