Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Randomize