just come out here and I will go home with you...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize