yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
