why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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