I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
