I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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