she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
