i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
