Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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